For the past twelve months I have been planning a surprise birthday party for my husband, Paul. There has been a lot of planning, meetings, organizing, fun, and a heap of deception, decoys, and diversions. It turned out to be one spectacular birthday party and worth every moment of planning and hard work. Our family flew in from around the country to surprise him and to honor him. It was an extremely moving event.
One of the highlights of the evening was when a huge, beautifully, wrapped box was wheeled in on a dollie. Everyone waited with bated breath as Paul slowly opened the lid and then from inside the box came a very sweet and beautiful voice saying, "happy birthday granddad!" It was a special moment as Paul lifted our five year old granddaughter out of the box and our daughter, husband and little grandson walked in.
I have to say I am thrilled that the birthday party is behind me. I had to think of everything I said before I opened my mouth. There were at least two occasions when the secret nearly slipped from my lips. I actually did not enjoy carrying the secret and having to hide things from Paul. I was as much relieved as happy when the entire event was over.
In every sense my secret was a good one because I knew it would eventually be revealed. It was also a wonderful surprise and we were able to keep it hidden until the actual day. But there are secrets that are not good and are detrimental in every way. The sort of secret that is deliberately hidden for fear of the consequences.
I did wonder however how people live with secrets from their spouse or their parents or someone they love. How do people lie continuously and then remember what they said or did not say? It must be an awful burden to bear when someone has to keep a secret.
- Hiding the truth is a burden too huge to carry: To constantly hide the truth from a person is a very difficult thing to do. There is a limit to how long you can live with perpetual deception in your private life.
- Hiding the truth is emotionally draining: It will wear on your emotions to have to constantly hide the truth. You have to have an incredibly good memory to lie perpetually and it does take its toll on your emotional well being.
- Hiding the truth is no way to live: You cannot live in peace and freedom when you know you are keeping the truth from a person you love.
My recommendation is for you to come clean. The Bible says that "the truth will set you free." You will discover that once your secret is out in the open you can move on with your life. In fact, you will probably feel that you can breathe freely again. As long as you live with a secret you will not live in peace or freedom.
I understand this is an unusual blog but I feel it is for some people who have been living with the unbearable burden of keeping a secret. My prayer is that you will have the strength to bring it in to the open. Yes, there will be consequences but you will eventually have to face those anyway. You cannot hide your secret forever. Get it out in to the open and pray that God will give you the strength and courage to be honest and that the person you love with have an understanding and capacity to forgive.
I am and always will be,
recklessly abandoned, ruthlessly committed and in relentless pursuit of Jesus,