As humans we are prone to see the failings and faults in other people. I know I have to constantly discipline myself to find the good in people because sometimes their faults are glaring, but underneath the skin is often someone quite different to the person we perceive them to be.
I have been in ministry for over forty years. I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. One thing that has always saddened me, is the way people can hold grudges against family members or friends for years. I know a family who had a long standing grievance with their relatives and after many years had passed they did not remember what the grievance was about, but they held on to their bitterness tenaciously. Sad!
If truth be told, most of the issues that offended us and that we parted company over were childish and insignificant in the light of other issues. Why do we tend to hold on to grievances? Why can't we forgive and move on? Probably because of our pride. We can't admit our humanity and stupidity and to do so would offend our personal pride.
My friend, if I am writing this blog to you, please hear me. Life is short. There is no time for anger and grievances. Be the bigger person in this relationship. Write an email, send a text, say sorry...or simply start speaking to the person/people who have grieved you and put the issue/s to rest. Pay for the coffee or the meal out, but whatever you do, let go of your bitterness and unforgiveness because it will be far more costly to your soul than anything else you can imagine.
Stop and consider the issue at hand. Intead of seeing what the person has done wrong, remind yourself of the good they have done—the good times you had together—the laughs and the fun. Strive to look for the best in that person, not the worst. Yes, this is a discipline of your heart and your mind, but it is a necessary discipline to move past the hurt into a place of healing and restoration.
I hope this week will be the beginning of a new and wonderful week. For those who have no sour relationships, but struggle with people, my advice is the same: Look for the best in other people. Instead of seeing their flaws, look for the gold. You will find it if you look!
I am and always will be
recklessly abandoned, ruthlessly committed and in relentless pursuit of Jesus,