Her world had fallen apart! “Why God, why did you take him from me,” she whispered in utter despair. My friend had lost her soul mate and did not know how she could ever recover from such profound loss.
I have other friends who have been through challenging experiences lately. Some have lost loved ones, some have faced illness and some have faced other horrendous circumstances. I have had to watch different ones goes through their pain in various ways. Some of them are thriving; some of them are coping, while a few of them are simply in survival mode - they grope in the darkness, holding tenaciously to their hurts and wounds. At times I wonder if they feel guilty about letting go of their pain. As I think about some of these beautiful women friends, here are a few of my reflections.
DON’T WASTE YOUR PAIN
If you have been through a trying time of pain and loss don’t waste that experience. One of my girlfriends has written a book about her loss and pain and how she came to terms with losing her spouse. Others never talk about their pain; they simply live with a constant ache in their hearts. I think that is sad! There are so many hurting people out there who could benefit from your experience, however traumatic it was. Don’t waste your experience – don’t hide it – use it to bless and help others.
DON’T FEEL GUILTY FOR MOVING ON
I love what the Psalmist said; “Weeping endures for the night, but joy comes in the morning.” I am not underestimating the agonizing experience, neither am I trying to diminish the pain – what I am suggesting is that the darkness does pass and the morning breaks forth in all its glory and light. There is, I do believe, “a time for weeping” but there is also a time for healing.
DON’T WAIT TO FEEL WHOLE
I hear people say, “ I need more time, I need to feel whole,” or words to that effect. I do believe that we can still minister to others in the process of healing. I can assure you that as you give out of your pain and your anguish; you will find God will fill you in a way you never thought possible. I remember when my son was in Trauma ICU – everyday people would grab us in the ward and ask us to pray with their families. I was so dry and desperate on the inside, but somehow giving out of our parched souls did not deplete us it seemed to replenish us.
There is someone, somewhere that is hurting as much as you are. Perhaps in your own pain and emptiness you can reach out to them and touch them. I assure you that as you give out of your hurt and pain you will not only pour oil and wine into their wound, but you will find that your own heart will be filled. May His nail scarred Hands touch you today and lead you to someone desperate for the balm of Gilead.
I am and always will be,
Recklessly abandoned, ruthlessly committed and in relentless pursuit of Jesus,